Grey Approach

Doing The Same Thing Over And Over - And Expecting A Different Result

2011-03-23T10:37:00.001-07:00

Lucy pulls back the football, originally uploaded by niallkennedy.

Charles Schultz who created the Peanuts comic strip showed us lots of lessons, if only we could pay attention and learn. I think myself I am guilty of giving people another chance over and over. And over and over, I am disappointed by the exact same result.

I think that often we want to believe the best of people and are just unwilling to see that they will not change!

Something to think about from Keith & Martha!

Gazing At The Sunset? Maybe Not!

2009-07-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

When I was looking (through a photo service I use) for a picture of an older couple, this was an interesting choice. Why?

Well, sometimes I think younger people see us oldsters as doing exactly that - sitting on a bench, looking at a sunset at the lake.

Wake Up America! Senior Citizens are having most of the problems you are having, particularly financial worries.

When you are younger, you think of being retired and doing interesting things, enjoying life and having no worries. In today's economy, that is just not happening!

What is happening is that the money set aside - hard-earned savings - have dwindled and IRAs and various portfolios are down to pitiful amounts. Company and Government pensions sometimes are indexed but not anything very helpful.

One thing I find really discouraging is broken promises. Let's call them that. I have a prescription that I have taken for a very long time. It is a generic drug and so under the supplemental insurance I have, suddenly, it is not generic and I am paying full price for it.

The amounts we pay for supplemental insurances are very high indeed and they increase every year.

We pay the same amount as younger people for everything including our groceries, pharmaceutical necessities, transportation, auto upkeep, lawn maintenance, cleaning supplies, etc.

In the years when we should be truly enjoying ourselves, we are working harder than ever to manage what we have.

In the years when we should have no worries at all, we have as many or more than we had when we were young.

When we were young, we always had the hope of pay raises and promotions.

One thing most people would not think about is the cost of being old. Hmm. Did you know that the rate for a month in an Alzheimer's unit or special care unit of a nursing home or healthcare center is $5,000?

What are things we can do, to help ourselves to a better retirement? First off, if you are still young, try, try to put aside money in very safe vessels like bonds and CDs. (That comes under the category of "I wish I'd listened to my Momma!")

As seniors, we have a strong organization fighting for the right of people over 50 - AARP. Make sure when you turn 50 that you join and keep up your membership over the years. AARP is definitely "Grey Power" at work.

Another thing to do is to go to www.whitehouse.gov and write a note to the President, telling him of the things that are causing you to worry during your so-called retirement!

www.aarp.com

www.whitehouse.gov

. . . The Poppies Grow . . .

2009-05-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjMzySWBxXg&feature=related

Recession or Depression?

2009-04-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey, you guys. Do you think times are tough now? Experts say this is a Recession. Do you know what a Depression is? Have you thought about what it would be like to live through one?

Unemployment today is around 8%, and might be headed for double digits. Unemployment then (1929 to 1940) topped 25% and there were homeless people everywhere. I know. I was there.

Before you get feeling sorry for me and my compadres who lived during those days with me, let me tell you something that may surprise you.

I was better off then than I am now. Of course, understand I was very young, not the responsible person and rather oblivious as to what was going on around me. Thanks to dedicated, loving parents, whose hard work, common sense and God-given good fortune kept them and their family above water during this tough time.

My Father, who drove a truck for an oil company, kept his job throughout the Depression.

My mother, who planted and harvested a huge garden, canning, preserving and giving away the surplus, knew all the tricks to save time, effort and money in cooking, sewing and running a house during hard times.

We lived next to a railroad, which mainly hauled coal and oil from the mines and wells in Southern Illinois to Chicago and from there to all points East and west.

Traveling on those trains as unpaid passengers were many jobless, homeless people, which some people called Hobos or Tramps.

About a mile North of our house was a dense wooded area I'll call Smith's Woods, named after the people who owned the land. Hobos camped out there, as it provided a semblance of shelter and gave them a place to gather, to talk about their problems and hopefully share some food.

My boyhood friends and I used to go to Smith's woods to visit the Hobos, and when we found out they were constantly cooking a big stew over a campfire, we started carrying carrots, potatoes, beans, corn and anything else we could scrounge to the woods to add to their stew.

In today's world, what we did would have been considered the most foolish and dangerous things a child could do. Maybe we were just lucky, but we found these people to be very kind, intelligent and friendly. They appreciated our gifts of food and constantly thanked us for our help.

Very often they would come into town and since our house was on the way, there were constant knocks on our back door from men offering to work for a meal. They helped spade our garden, mowed our yard and swept the driveway-----and my Mother never turned one away without giving him some food.

I'll tell you more about the Great Depression next time I blog. Thanks for reading.

Must Be Something We Don't Get . . . Keith speaks up!

2009-04-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

Well, there must be something we don't quite get . . .

Grandchildren living with significant others, some with children - why is it so different today from two generations ago?

Could it possibly be that divorce became too easy? Is it because their parents are divorced? Are they afraid to commit? Does wealth mean more than a loving relationship?

Was it the feminist movement of the 60s when the Pill was created? Should we blame it on Burt Reynolds posing "in the all together" for a feminist magazine?

Could it be because their parents both work?

When we were kids coming home from school, our mothers were at home. At dinnertime we all sat around the table and ate, and discussed the events of the day. Today kids come home , grab something from the freezer, microwave it and eat it at the counter, then dash off to visit friends. They didn't even see their parents, so how can there be bonding?

I worked three jobs in high school just to pay for my first semester at Rose-Hulman. But my mother very rarely worked. Dad was a Mechanic - a fine one - at Marathon Oil in Robinson, Illinois.

Actually, my father, J.D., wanted me to be a Greyhound Bus driver. That would have been a good job! I would have had a uniform, a fine pension and I would have traveled . . . well, all the time!

My better half's mother was almost always at home. She didn't come home to an empty house very often.

Both of us rode bicycles to get around - use of the family car was a very special privilege, only granted when we had been good and they handed you the keys - plus a short lecture:

"Where are you going? Who will you be with? What time will you be home?"

What? Your kids have their own cars?

So, are cars to blame? Do we grant too much freedom without enough supervision? Have we gone too far to reverse our course? Can we bring back family values?

I guess I just don't get it!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-01-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

You all know the Aretha Franklin song about RESPECT! We were happy to seen an article in the January issue of Lutheran Magazine by Jonathan Cordero and Don Waisanen.

When we were kids, grandparents were not doing all the work, all the gift-buying or all the entertaining. Exactly when did that start happening?

We see this happening all around us. Grown "children" calling with all kinds of problems to be solved by their parents. Adult children with children of their own and houses of their own expecting to be entertained and helped by the older generation. When did this start, exactly?

When I was a kid, we would drive out to West Toronto to bring the grandparents up to our house for Christmas dinner and gift opening. It wasn't all roses. One year my grandmother asked what I would like. As they were very fashionable at the time, I asked for a "robe necklace of beads". This was a fairly long necklace of colored beads and not too expensive.

When I opened the first box, there was a short necklace - not stylish at all and it was not going to be attractive on me. I smiled and thanked my grandparents.

In the next box, there was another necklace, just like the first, only a different color. I smiled and thanked my grandparents.

The third box I opened revealed the same item in a different color. Obviously, a pattern was forming and Mother told me she needed some help in the kitchen.

When we got there, she told me she knew this was not what I hoping for but to please act happy because Grandma had meant well when she bought them.

I happily opened five boxes containing five necklaces and no harm was done. Grandma never knew and my mother bought me a more suitable strand of beads after.

My point is that it did not kill us to be extra kind to grandparents.

I remember my grandfather as being rather stern - he had been a policeman, you see. Grandmother was a very gentle lady with wonderful knitting and crocheting skills which she was happy to pass on to me.

Where did we go wrong? What happened to a little respect - just because we are older now? It surely must be our turn to sit back and let the younger ones do for us.

Are You Ready For Halloween?

2008-10-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hope you have an Ava at your Thanksgiving Table!

2008-10-12T17:02:00.000-07:00

Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia - October 2007

2008-10-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

Ninety Years - A Beautiful Landmark!

2008-09-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful mother-in-law from my first marriage who keeps me in her extended family up in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. This week she turned ninety! Now, she's the one on the right there, with the naturally black hair, and that's me on the left with the also naturally grey hair! This photo is from last year when we visited. Kay Webster still has her wonderful sense of humor and a great love for family. So, today, there was a wonderful party for her and over 40 people came to visit, some from British Columbia and some from Ontario. Happy, Happy Ninetieth, Mom!

Scrapbooking for Breast Cancer Research

2008-09-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, scrapbooking enthusiasts from all over the country will be "cropping" for Breast Cancer Research. We'll be wearing pink, of course!

You know I love to crop and find it very relaxing. That's why Hubby makes sure I get lots of time for this passion!

This Saturday, we will crop to raise funds for the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

We crop for our friends who are survivors - like Sue, the owner of Scrapbooks & Memories in Lufkin, Texas and Judy in Port Hope, Ontario.

We crop in memory of those now gone - Jayne Sutton and Mary Maude Croome - Keith's first wife and my grandmother, who survived for many years.

We crop so we can get out the word to women to have mammograms and check-ups. We crop to raise funds for research that some day this disease will be eradicated.

Call your local scrapbook store and ask if you can join this crop. Many shops are having all day scrapbooking events. When I went to this Crop last year, it was my first time and I got hooked! You know, this is a super hobby and this is a great time to try it!

At Scrapbooks & Memories, we will be going at it from 9 to 9 and there will be lots of food, camaraderie, prizes and diligent scrapbooking!

What will I be cropping this week? Well, my sister-in-law's great-grandson's eight-month pictures, of course; some from Vacation Bible School and some old family photos including my Grandmother Croome.

Scrap Pink on Saturday!

2008-09-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

It Makes Cropping Easy!

2008-09-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

Now that we are great-grandparents and great-aunt and uncle, people are really good about sending photos of the children to us! This is our nephew whose parents have been meticulous about sending monthly photos. See how they even put how old he is this month? This is our Notre Dame Undergrad and I sure do love cropping him! Keith likes me to go scrapbooking because it is so relaxing and calming for me!

Like Father, Like Son: Always Learning!

2008-09-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

Always Learning and Re-Affirming

2008-09-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we said to ourselves, what have we learned from Hurricane Ike?

Keith’s father, Dee, who lived to be 94, said he always tried to learn something new every day. We try to live by this philosophy also.

So, did we learn from Ike?

Oh, yes. We learned that sometimes we only think we do not really need to do something. This time, at the last moment, we decided to board up a window in a middle room. Keith spent almost all day Friday on this. Of course, being the Engineer he is, he meticulously built something semi-permanent which can be removed after hurricane season (November 30^th, folks)!

It held up extremely well, as opposed to a neighbor’s efforts preparing for Rita. That came down with the first gust.

So, what was the difference between Keith’s job and the neighbor’s? Well, Keith is a little older than that fellow and so that makes him more experienced. It also means he really might not want to be up on a ladder on his own doing the Paul Bunyan thing! Also Keith had made window protectors years ago when he lived on the Gulf Coast of Texas. So, he knew what he was doing!

Does granddaughter Krista’s firm belief from when she was a child that “My grandfather can fix anything” ring true? Sure does!

What else did we learn? Well, like most people in hot climates, we sure do like our air-conditioning, although we were blessed with cooler than usual temperatures.

We also like all our gadgets, some which have become “necessities” but most powered by electricity. So, we are no different in that respect than younger people.

We missed being current because we are always up on everything that is happening everywhere. Or we try to be!

And did we learn anything about our family? Sure did! We have a super family who all love us and were all really concerned. They kept in touch – some by calling, some by texting.

We also learned that we have lots of friends.

We also know that we could have help from several people and all we have to do is ask! That feels really good!

We missed church on Sunday very much. But, you knew we would! There were a few little problems that would have made it difficult to hold service. So, some of us called around and told as many as we could. Pastor put a sign on the door and the TV and radio stations announced it also.

We also learned how blessed we are that our house was spared.

We are very much people with a routine and Hurricane Ike kind of spoiled that routine this week! Think we have instilled routine in Buddy the Lhasa Apso also and he is also glad we are back to usual routine.

Also, wasn't it nice that Keith dropped me off at my favorite scrapbooking place to crop for a couple of hours while he ran some errands! You gotta love that! Of course, Hubby knows that cropping is calming. He's a smart guy, you know!

Dear Lord, Thank you for helping us and our friends and neighbors through Hurricane Ike. And, God Bless Texas! Amen.

Memory - Good for the Old Stuff!

2008-09-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes, 44042 – that’s the code to open the doors of our sedan we traded for our current SUV three years ago.

Hummm, 619020 – that would be Mother’s Account Number at Simpson’s Department Store in Toronto. When I was a teen, I could get on the Toronto Subway (or TTC – Toronto Transit System) and head down to Queen Street. Just be reeling off that number, I could charge something to Mother’s account.

Then there was 96682 – Mother’s T. Eaton Co. account number where I could also just say the number and merchandise would be mine. (What? Eaton’s went out of business, you say?)

Then, there was Hubby’s payroll number at Exxon in Aruba: 78925. Golly, the kids could charge whatever they needed to Dad’s paycheck!

That’s a problem for us older folks. We can recall the simple five and six digit numbers from the 50s, probably because we only had two or three of them and we did not need to fumble through our wallets for a matching card.

But, of course, we have “progressed”! We have bar codes so everything we purchase can just be scanned, often by a person talking to someone else, or even using a cell phone. We are at the mercy of the computerized scanner and even more so, the data entry person putting the correct price in the system. At the grocery and drug stores, those prices fluctuate and every week there are changes and specials.

We are told not to write down the entry code for the vehicle, the PIN numbers for ATM cards, our passwords for websites on our computers, etc.

Now you might think that just “old” people cannot remember all these numbers and special words. If you believe that, I must tell you about a couple of “grand” people in their twenties who cannot access their e-mail accounts.

Remembering all these codes, passwords and account numbers and names is to just fill my brain enough that I cannot recall the name of the person I just met.

But I can remember Ted Gorski, the man who owned the McDonald’s franchise in Barrie in 1974. How, can I? Well, we were taking a Dale Carnegie Course and learning how to remember grocery lists by a stacking method and peoples’ names by association.

Ted Gorski? Ah, well, that is like Polski Ogorski dill pickles?

Uh, oh . . .

If any of this rings a clear bell with you, perhaps you’d enjoy reading a column written by Don Campbell in yesterday’s USA Today about how much better today’s young people are NOT doing! It is called Plugging in, tuning out. Here is the link:

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/09/plugging-in-tun.html?loc=interstitialskip

What do we learn from Hurricanes?

2008-09-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

The basic precautions for us here in East Texas when a Hurricane Watch is in effect have to do with being ready.

Be Prepared . . . Isn’t that the Boy Scouts marching song? Well, in a way, Boy Scout principles apply.

Essentially, if you are living in the South, in the possible path of a hurricane, you try to assess how safe you might be if you stayed.

If you are in a manufactured home, it is pretty likely you are going to leave that home as the structure is not really a match for torrential winds and rain. If a family is too late to get away from the area, they generally go to a brick or concrete structure (possibly a church or a school) to wait out the storm with others. If a storm came without any warning, they might dive into a ditch at the side of the road and perhaps cover themselves with a small mattress or bed roll.

We are fortunate to live in a brick home but that does not mean we are totally “safe”.

Hubby, being a Sagittarius as well as an Engineer used to disasters, tends to take preparations in stride. (I am a Taurus, an Earth sign.) At my beckoning, he does check the battery stock and makes sure we have water on hand. Hubby has lived on the Gulf Coast of Texas and on the island of Aruba, so he has seen lots of hurricanes.

Now, when they lived on the Gulf Coast, he and his first wife, Jayne, used to drive to where we live now! Hmmm . . . when I think about that, it reminds me that East Texas is generally fairly safe. Probably the most danger comes from all the old trees in this area.

Of course, I am more nervous than Hubby, so I make sure I have a few provisions stored in the bathroom in the middle of the house as that is where we are supposed to go in the event of a ferocious storm.

What do we learn from hurricanes? Well, we learn that we can survive. We can survive without power although it will get pretty hot at this time of the year. (Air-conditioning here is not a luxury, it is a must.)

We learn that we can play cards, eat simple foods and just sit and enjoy each other.

We recall what it was like when we were kids and did not have all the frills we have today. Hubby and I both came from northern areas, so generally it was not as hot as it gets here. It is kind of fun to do without – oh, for about an hour or two!

We also learn how generous and helpful people can be.

Churches open their doors for shelter to evacuees. Food is provided and prepared for those forced to leave their homes.

Professional Counselors (we have several in our family) donate their time and talent to help people survive the ordeal mentally.

When the tumult is over and the damage assessed, people stand up and help with repairs and clean-up.

What becomes apparent is that we’re all in this thing together and the only way out is to pull together.

We think “Love your neighbor as yourself”, our Lord’s teaching, comes in to full play during a hurricane.

Sunday Kind of Day

2008-09-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

For us, Sunday is Church Day and we get up a little earlier than usual, put on what used to be called “Sunday best” and drive over to church.

Our church is a very friendly church and after the sermon, we “share the peace”, going around shaking hands with just about everyone in the congregation. Our church is smaller and it is a little easier to know most of the people.

For Hubby and me, Sundays mean church and lunch after. When we come home, we relax and perhaps even have a nap. Sometimes we see family, but they are scattered now and it is not so easy to do.

Not everybody attends church and not everybody who does is there every Sunday. These days, a lot of people have to work on Sunday.

When I was young in Toronto, Dad and I would visit my grandparents, so that was a Sunday thing to do as well. We would have breakfast at Downey’s Pancake House near the Canadian National Exhibition Grounds in Toronto. Then we would drive to my grandparents’ modest home in West Toronto. Dad and Grandpa would play cribbage and Grandma taught me how to knit and how to laugh and enjoy each other. It was a family Sunday. Grandparents can be the best friends that children will ever have. (Everybody knows that a grandchild can do no wrong!)

In the 50s and 60s, most families probably watched The Ed Sullivan Show on Sunday nights. Sundays were very casual and relaxing. Do people still have thick Sunday newspapers with lots of flyers spread out on the floor? Since we are not in the big city, our paper is not so thick, but we do read it right through!

During my first marriage, we went to his parents’ home on Saturdays and Sundays. Mom would make a delicious dinner and then the fellows would watch hockey in the living room while the gals would be talking in the kitchen. Sometimes we would play cards or a board game. That was a family that really enjoyed being together!

Sunday is probably no longer the relaxing sort of day it once was. Most women work, so there are always some household chores to do. Families do not likely live in the same city. Life is too busy to take a break. “Too busy to take a break?” Uh, oh! That just might be one thing that is wrong with us these days.

Well, think about it and see if you could do a few more things in advance and let one or two things go. If you could create a “Sunday Kind of Day” for your family, how nice could that be?